How Did I Get Here?

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Torn between his creative calling and a full-time civil service job, Jesse Browner—a novelist who found himself in the midst of the proverbial midlife crisis—had a hard question to answer: Have I lived the life I intended?And more to the point, if he hadn’t, was that really so bad?In How Did I Get Here? Browner takes an unflinching look at the life that led him to this moment of existential doubt, asking hard questions about the choices life imposes on us, and our tendency to believe in a parallel, alternative existence where we might have felt more fulfilled, freer, and truer to ourselves.Sketching portraits of himself at five distinct phases of his life—ambition, love, work, fulfillment, and wisdom—he looks for the idiosyncrasies, blind spots, and commonalities that led him to question every assumption he has ever made about who he is and the nature of his ambitions, successes, and failures. He also draws on the lives of others, from Franz Kafka to indie rocker Elliott Smith to his own sister, in search of understanding and guidance. What he finds in his courageous quest is inspiring and honest—sometimes brutally so—touching on what it means to live a life with intention and meaning.