The Amateur Abroad

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Excerpt from The Amateur Abroad: The Record of a Summer Tour in Europe Speaking of the Amateur reminds us that we have neither introduced ourself nor explained-our "mission, " - Once-upon-a-time a solitary horseman arrived upon an eminence, and paused to gaze upon the varied - But no, we forgot that this initial chapter, written when half seas over, must be nautical if anything, and that a solitary equestrian could not probably have arrived there, indeed, I doubt whether G. P. R. James could comfortably get a horseman into such a situation, although I will admit, that if the thing were possible James would have done it. Perhaps he has done it, I can only say, from personal knowledge of 299 of his solitary horsemen that none of them ever arrived upon an eminence in the Atlantic Ocean. Well then: - Once-upon a-time the publishers of the "Amateur" appreciating the services rendered by its editorial staff in increasing the value of that interesting paper, (which is, as everybody knowledge the standard authority, and leading periodical of its kind in America, ) graciously gave permission to the said staff to put shekels in their pouches, and wend their united ways, "Foreign countries for to see, " upon the conditions hereunto annexed, namely: 1. That the said staff absent itself not exceeding the term of four calendar months, extending from the date hereof (28th May). 2. That all expenses of way-faring be charged to account of any firm in the music trade, save and except the said publishers of the "Amateur." Under these liberal and sagacious arrangements, the Amateur prepared to travel. First, let me describe the Amateur (personified) to you. He is an exceedingly prepossessing young man, both in appearance and manners, his only fault being his excessive modesty. With the ladies he is very popular, and it was on this account, principally, that he was selected by its worthy publishers, to conduct a paper which numbers among its readers, every lady of taste and refinement in the land. In speaking of the Amateur hereafter, we will designate him simply by an initial capital, whilst the paper which is, as it were, the mere bantling of his mind, will be appropriately indicated by quotation marks. Having given to the editor-in-chief that first position due to his official dignity, politeness requires that the lady-member of our staff, be next presented to our readers. Miss Araminta Squibbs is the accomplished editress of the fashion department of this magazine and is considered prime authority upon the fripperies and appurtenances of feminine costume. We doubt not that our lady readers will anxiously search for her article in the present number and impatiently await its successors. Miss Squibbs knows a French bonnet when she sees it, and is not to be deceived in guipures, or guys either. All ladies have more or less temper, and Miss S. possesses, perhaps rather more than less. She says that the Amateur himself is decidedly headstrong (meaning headwrong?), we will not condescend to refute this accusation, but leave Miss Araminta to speak for herself hereafter, and our readers to judge between us. Our third associate, Junius, has long sat at the receipt of customs, where his beaming countenance and elegant signature have proved ir-resistable in attracting feminine subscribers to the "Amateur." Junius is principally connected with the business interests of our journal, still, he can write forcibly on occasions. He expressly disclaims, now and forever, the authorship of the celebrated letters which falsely bear his name, and further declares that he has never disputed Mark Twain's claim to the said authorship. Having thus introduced our dramatis personæ, we w